Tag Archives: hope

Filled With Peace

Posted on by
Reply

People have asked how I am doing recently, and honestly I am pretty good. I shared how the first few days were pretty anxiety-filled but for the most part now I have a sense of peace about everything.

Not the peace that everything is going to turn out exactly as I hope, because I just don’t know that. This is a peace that regardless of what happens, God will be with me and I will be ok.

I am ready for my pre-op appointment. It is this Wednesday and Dominic will be coming with me. My wise friend Sherry told me to make sure that I gave him permission to ask whatever questions he may have. Especially if I am not asking them myself. She shared that when she went through a recent medical scare she just blanked when the doctor started talking about the surgery she was facing….she couldn’t think of anything to ask. So Dominic knows that I appreciate his voice in this and I am just grateful that he can be there.

We have been talking about this on and off for a few weeks now and Dominic has been praying about my surgery in the morning so our kids know something is going on. A few nights ago we were headed out to get pumpkins and broom corn from a farmer friend and Gabe started asking some questions.

So we told them that there was  a cyst and it isn’t “normal” and it needs to come out. Gabe asked if it was cancer. I told him that I didn’t know for certain, but I was hopeful it wasn’t. But we couldn’t know anything for sure if I didn’t have it removed. Gabe said that he knew how he could be praying for me. What a gift it is to have my kids praying for me.

I assured them that I trusted my Doctor and that she saved my life once before, she would take care of me this time too. Elijah wasn’t sure that was true so he asked Dominic if it was. It was funny actually, once Dominic said yes it was true Elijah says “OK I believe you!” Oh he makes me laugh!

Yes there are some scary unknowns, I honestly am most worried about my recovery after the surgery. The last laparoscopic surgery I had should have been a 2 hour recovery time and then I would have gone home but I was there for HOURS. Poor Dominic was so hungry and I was so sick. I couldn’t keep anything down. The meds made me nauseous and the gas they pumped into my abdomen caused such terrible referred pain in my shoulder that I could hardly move.

So if you are the praying kind, prayers for a better recovery this round would be so appreciated.

Yesterday a couple of young men came by our home to talk to me about their faith and their church. I will be honest, when I saw them coming down the street I initially wondered how I might avoid the conversation. I guess I didn’t feel prepared to “defend” my beliefs.

I was outside in my garage canning salsa though so there was really no getting away. So I said a little prayer that God would give me the words to say. They asked if I had a faith in God and I shared that I did. They went further and wanted to talk to me about the other things that their church believes. We had some dialogue back and forth and they asked me if they left me their “book” if I would read it.

I was kind, but I said no. I didn’t need another book besides the Bible to tell me about Jesus. That was “proof” enough for me. I didn’t need another book or a profit to tell me what I already knew from the written word of God. I have a personal relationship with Him. I believe Jesus was the Son of God, He died for my sins and because of my faith and trust in Him, I would someday be in heaven with Him.

They respected my no, and told me that the number on the back of their card they gave me could be used if we ever needed help for any reason…that they were on mission for God for the next 2 years. I told them that while I didn’t agree with the teachings of their church, I respected that they were going out and sharing their faith. How many Christians do you know that would go door to door and share their faith in Jesus? I’ve never done it!

They left and I went over in my mind the things I had shared, wondering if I had honored God with my words…I hoped that they left knowing that I was kind and respectful towards them, but firm in my own faith. Oh and I invited them to my church…because it just seemed right!

Today in church the message was in part about the Great Commission. When Jesus commanded his disciples to go, baptize and teach in His name. Kent told us that each of us have been given gifts and that we can use those gifts to help fulfill the Great Commission. Maybe evangelism isn’t my gift, but writing is. So how can I use my God-give gifts and talents to bring Him glory?

Well, by sharing these moments in my life.

I won’t sugar coat it and wrap it up in a pretty little bow and pretend that because I have Jesus my life is perfect. No, my life is a mess almost 100% of the time and it is exactly why I need Jesus!

I struggle with fear and uncertainty, I question God and sometimes I even argue with Him. But He is my constant. He has always been there for me. He always will be. It doesn’t matter what happens at my surgery, if I have to take meds I don’t want to take for several years, or if it is something more….whatever happens God will be there.

I don’t know how people go through difficulty without a relationship with God. I was thinking about what I shared at my best friend Karlena’s funeral back in 2010. She had such an incredible faith and I wanted what she had. I wanted to be able to trust God even if I knew that my life would end up differently than I had hoped. She had that trust in spite of the incredible difficulties she faced every day, especially at the end.

But one of her biggest concerns was that all her family and friends might come to know God and have a relationship with Him like she did. She wanted to be reunited again in heaven. So at the end of my talk I shared that. I said that she would have wanted to see everyone in that room with her again some day and there was only one way to have that assurance, and that was a faith in God. My dad later commented that it was like I did an old fashioned altar call.

Friends, I feel just as strongly today as I did that day. Our time is short. we don’t know the day or the hour that we will be called away or that Christ will return. If you are reading this and don’t have a personal relationship with Jesus, would you please reach out to me. I would love to talk with you and pray for you. There is a peace that passes all understanding that is available through God, believe me I know this first hand and I am so grateful for it. I’d love to introduce you to my Jesus.

Pieces Woven Together

Posted on by
Reply

Our pastor has been teaching on the life of David and we have been walking through a good portion of 1 Samuel for many weeks now. I love this type of Bible teaching because we, for the most part, are going through this book verse by verse.

We did this in Romans and Acts too. It helps me get a feel for what was really happening. He gives us background about the time in history etc., and I can put myself into the story and see it from all angles.

David has an incredible story doesn’t he?! A shepherd boy, the unmentioned of many brothers who is chosen and anointed by God to be the king. A boy who then waits YEARS from the time of that anointing to the time he is actually appointed king.

Talk about waiting to walk into your calling!

And we see that David struggles. He makes mistakes, he runs from God, he sins and falls short. God knows David’s heart though and he uses him anyways. What hope stories like this give me. I too can be the chief of sinners and yet God has found ways to use my story for good. How we should fall on our knees grateful that He loves us that much to redeem our story and allow us the opportunity to share His grace with others!

Today our Pastor was talking about dark times. The bulletin referenced 1 Samuel 2 (or I thought it did)…we were actually in 1 Samuel 28. But I happened to turn to 1 Samuel 2 and started reading. I have to admit, I don’t have a full grasp of the entire Bible, and how things are woven together. But today I discovered a connection I hadn’t made before and it so encouraged me.

Back in 2013 I shared a post about a woman named Hannah. I was so moved by this woman’s faith. Childless for years, tormented by the other wife, she begs God to give her a child. In exchange she vows to devote that child to the Lord’s service.

God hears and grants her a son. And then she follows through and actually gives her son over to the priest at the church. I said it before, but can you imagine the pain of having to follow through on that promise? I’ve found myself bargaining with God, making promises I probably didn’t intend to keep. But Hannah followed through.

When I wrote about it a few years ago I was amazed at her faith…but I didn’t fully understand the rest of the story. I didn’t read on through the rest of 1 Samuel to see what happens. Today it came together for me in a new way.

You see the Bible tells us that Samuel grows as a man and in his understanding of the Lord. So much in fact that he becomes a trusted advisor and a prophet. Samuel eventually anoints Saul as king. Saul the very king that we later hear is to be replaced by David. Samuel becomes David’s trusted advisor as well. He has become a man of great influence.

Our pastor said today, “Samuel had been a spiritual anchor for the people for 50+ years.” Isn’t that incredible?! And my thoughts immediately went to Hannah once again. A women who desperately wanted a son. A woman that was true to her promise and let her son go.

Do you think she had any idea the man her son would become so many years later? That he would be a spiritual anchor? We don’t know for sure, but I honestly don’t think so. It may have been easier to give up her son had she known the outcome…but so often we don’t know what will happen.

But like Hannah we take those bold steps of faith and do the hard thing anyways. And when we do the results are often more than we could ever imagine they would be. This connecting of stories gave me hope today. It was a reminder that the trials I have gone through and the lessons that I continue to learn may not only impact me and my kids…but generations to come!

So we keep walking forward, taking those hard steps and allowing God to use us, knowing that we may not see an answer to our prayers in this lifetime, but that they may continue to bear fruit for years and years to come.

Isn’t it amazing how God works?

Photo Credit: ame h

Broken Pieces

Posted on by
Reply


We decided to go down to the beach for one last walk to look for shells.

It was much colder that morning and the wind was blowing the dry sand across the beach. The waves rolled and crashed and after a few minutes we threatened to go in.

I love hunting for treasures. When we vacation in the summer with our kids it is one of my favorite things to do. It maybe be quartz or agates or shells….but the thrill of finding that one perfect treasure keeps me going. So that morning I kept walking.

The reality was that most of what we found was broken. Hurricane Matthew had done some major damage on those beaches in Georgia just months before and so what was washing ashore was broken pieces of once beautiful shells.

But as I walked I reflected on some of the broken pieces of my own life. Times where I too had found myself shattered. Times where I had done the damage to someone I loved. At the time I could only see the shards of what was remaining….it didn’t seem like beauty could come from the brokenness.

But over and over again God has restored those broken places. Not because I deserved it, or even because I had changed, but simply because He is sovereign and merciful and He loves me.

As I picked up the pieces of the broken shells I could imagine what they looked like whole. I could see their beauty despite their brokenness.

I spent some time that morning walking and praying. I thanked God for all the ways in which He has changed me. I thanked Him for His love and mercy. God has been faithful to restore and redeem me even when I have fought Him and actively gone against His will before coming to that place of surrender.

He has always been constant in my life. A good, good Father. We sang that song in church a few weeks ago and it is so beautiful. A praise to the One who makes all things new.

Even when we can’t see it, when we are in the midst of the struggle, God sees us whole. Because of the saving sacrifice of His Son, God sees me as the perfect shell. He doesn’t see the chips and cracks, the shards left from the brokenness I have caused…no He sees the whole me. A vision of myself I may not comprehend this side of heaven.

Friends, I don’t know what might be the cause of your broken pieces, but I am sure you have them just like I do. It is easy to get stuck in the pit, focused on all of the negatives and unable to see the beauty.

But the beauty is there. Sometimes it takes a perspective shift to see it…but it is there. It is a new year. A time for fresh starts. Take a moment today and look for the beauty around you. Acknowledge where God has moved in your life and thank Him for that. Hold tight to the truth that He sees you whole and that those broken pieces in your story may just be the thing that gives another hope.

Broken Pieces

Posted on by
Reply


We decided to go down to the beach for one last walk to look for shells.

It was much colder that morning and the wind was blowing the dry sand across the beach. The waves rolled and crashed and after a few minutes we threatened to go in.

I love hunting for treasures. When we vacation in the summer with our kids it is one of my favorite things to do. It maybe be quartz or agates or shells….but the thrill of finding that one perfect treasure keeps me going. So that morning I kept walking.

The reality was that most of what we found was broken. Hurricane Matthew had done some major damage on those beaches in Georgia just months before and so what was washing ashore was broken pieces of once beautiful shells.

But as I walked I reflected on some of the broken pieces of my own life. Times where I too had found myself shattered. Times where I had done the damage to someone I loved. At the time I could only see the shards of what was remaining….it didn’t seem like beauty could come from the brokenness.

But over and over again God has restored those broken places. Not because I deserved it, or even because I had changed, but simply because He is sovereign and merciful and He loves me.

As I picked up the pieces of the broken shells I could imagine what they looked like whole. I could see their beauty despite their brokenness.

I spent some time that morning walking and praying. I thanked God for all the ways in which He has changed me. I thanked Him for His love and mercy. God has been faithful to restore and redeem me even when I have fought Him and actively gone against His will before coming to that place of surrender.

He has always been constant in my life. A good, good Father. We sang that song in church a few weeks ago and it is so beautiful. A praise to the One who makes all things new.

Even when we can’t see it, when we are in the midst of the struggle, God sees us whole. Because of the saving sacrifice of His Son, God sees me as the perfect shell. He doesn’t see the chips and cracks, the shards left from the brokenness I have caused…no He sees the whole me. A vision of myself I may not comprehend this side of heaven.

Friends, I don’t know what might be the cause of your broken pieces, but I am sure you have them just like I do. It is easy to get stuck in the pit, focused on all of the negatives and unable to see the beauty.

But the beauty is there. Sometimes it takes a perspective shift to see it…but it is there. It is a new year. A time for fresh starts. Take a moment today and look for the beauty around you. Acknowledge where God has moved in your life and thank Him for that. Hold tight to the truth that He sees you whole and that those broken pieces in your story may just be the thing that gives another hope.

Three Truths Experiment

Posted on by
2

ThreeTruthsExperiment

There seems to be something changing in our family. A few weeks ago we started naming truths about our kids and they are claiming them for their own. It has been incredible to watch them step into a belief of who they are in Christ instead of falling to the whispers that they are not good enough, or bad.

I am challenged by what I have seen, especially with Elijah, and want to start claiming some truths for myself.

I am 41 years young. I have spent the majority of my almost 15,000 days on this earth believing more often that I lack value, than days standing firm on who I am in God.

When my daughter cried that she was a terrible person I rebelled at the notion for her, but when I really think about it, I know I have claimed that for my own life time and time again.

Well it is time for a change and so I have decided to do a “Three Truths Experiment.”

I am going to choose 3 character traits that I believe God has created me with and I am going to start living in those truths. Looking for ways to use His gifts to be a blessing to others.

I was asked by a friend how we chose the three truths for our kids. It all started with Elijah. He had received a note home from a teacher saying how kind and compassionate he was. I knew that about him but this solidified it for him too. We added brave because I told him it takes bravery to keep making good choices, to be kind to those who may not be kind back.

After naming Elijah’s, we moved on to Karlena. Elijah was very helpful in picking out good qualities in his siblings.  And so adventurous, kind and brave were named for our girl.

Gabriel was given hard-working, caring and generous and Isaac – funny, helpful and creative. I loved that the younger kids wanted to help in choosing positive truths for their older brothers!

We told our kids that these three truths aren’t the only things that we believe they are gifted with…but 10 truths per child for me to remember was going to be too much! 🙂 As I shared already, Elijah has added helpful to his list on his own. He is starting too see these positive traits in himself and others and is owning them!

Isn’t that the whole point?

Recognizing the positive things about ourselves and walking in those truths instead of being weighed down by lies that we aren’t good enough, we are failures etc.

So I am going to do this little experiment myself, and I’d love for you to join me.

Will you join me in establishing three truths for your life and then start walking through each day in full acceptance of those truths?

I have a sneaking suspicion that if we do this we will start to see a change. A change in how we see ourselves, how we see others and interact with our fellow man.

I have seen it in my son. Especially in those difficult moments. He is still six, he too can be selfish and sneaky, naughty even. But recognizing the truth of who God created him to be has changed how quickly those negative moments turn to good.

I want the freedom that he has, I want to walk in truth instead of being weighed down by lies. I know that God created each of us for a specific purpose, it’s high time we start living into that calling.

I will be praying over my words and will be back soon to share what my three truths are.

Are you in?!