So grateful for a God that loves me, is my shepherd. You are my God – may my voice praise you forever!
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Monthly Archives: June 2014
Give Them Jobs – A Riches of His Love Parenting Series – Advice From the Worst Mom Ever!
I have said it before that being a parent is tough business. When we were pregnant with Isaac I had no idea what being a mom would really mean. I loved babies and had babysat as a teenager…so it would be a piece of cake loving on your own baby, right?
But sleepless nights and a colicky son that cried for hours at a time, quickly showed me that this thing wasn’t for the faint of heart.
It has been a few years since I have paced the hallways with a crying baby…but as I find myself in the thick of raising two toddlers along with 2 older boys, there is a new sound that has emerged inside my home.
Whining.
Oh the whining! The fighting and hitting is awful too…but I don’t know that much else irritates this mama more than the constant whining and fussing.
Because Elijah and Karlena are so close in age (18 months) it seems to have magnified. There is 7 years between Isaac and Gabriel, and 5 years between Gabriel and Elijah. I just don’t remember it being THIS terrible with them.
And while Elijah and Karlena really do play well together at times, and I know they love each other, they also argue and bicker and fight and cry and fuss and bawl and whine.
The whining was threatening to push me over the edge on the way home from church on Sunday. Oh yes – even then!! I can leave church happy and filled because of worship and a good sermon, and want to scream myself silly after a 15 minute car ride home! 🙂
Because I am really trying to change my pattern of screaming at them when they are screaming at each other I decided to try something different this time.
I gave them jobs.
Elijah, who just turned 5, is interested in helping. I don’t always give him enough opportunities to be helpful but he loves the praise that comes with being a good helper. So we got home and we got right to work.
I asked him if he wanted to be a bog boy and help mom with some important work. He said yes and we set to task.
It wasn’t anything huge, and honestly I could have done it myself in 1 trip upstairs. It took him 3 trips, but he was very proud of himself for getting the work done. And he didn’t whine once during the entire process.
Once we had finished that task, I had him help me set the table for lunch.
Now the Type A, perfectionist personality in me cringes at a sloppy set table, but again this was a chance for him to learn. So we talked about where to put the fork, and Gabriel helped with the napkins…it wasn’t pretty but the whining had stopped.
Of course I was sure to praise him heavily during this time. Telling him how much I appreciated that he was being such a big helper and what a great job he was doing.
Kids LOVE to hear how awesome they are. Sometimes I forget that really. I get overwhelmed by the whining and fighting and I find myself focusing on everything they are doing wrong, instead of celebrating all they are doing well.
I know it isn’t a perfect plan. Sometimes asking them to help may cause more whining, oh heaven help us if it does!! But it is worth a try and might just give you a few more minutes of peace and sanity in your home!
What kind of jobs have you given your kids to do? Please leave them in the comments below so I can add to my list! 😉
A Time for Rest – Finding Spiritual Whitespace
My word for 2014 is Balance.
The last several months of 2013 were a blur. Dominic and I were so busy at the office that there were times I wondered if we would make it. Now don’t get me wrong, we are blessed and grateful for this business and how God has provided for our family, but I felt very flustered for too long. I needed balance.
I thought that if my one word could be balance that I might be more intentional about finding it.
I can tell you that it has been, and continues to be, a work in progress.
I suppose I hoped that by mid-way through a year I would have been further along, but the reality is that life just happens and I allow myself to get swept up in the wave of it all.
Then one day I got an email from Bonnie Gray asking if I wanted to be a part of her new book launch team for “Finding Spiritual Whitespace – Awakening Your Soul to Rest“. Her book sounded like JUST what I needed because “rest” seemed so lacking in my daily life.
And by rest – I really don’t mean more time to sleep. While that would be nice, I have become so accustomed to sleeping WITH interruption for the last MANY years, that sleeping through the night seems unnatural to me!
No, what my spirit really needs is finding that rest IN God. In relationship with Him. (<====Click to Tweet)
“Making room for whitespace means taking the journey to confide in Jesus the way we would if he were standing right here in front of us.” pg 31
My hope is that during these times of busy, I would be intentional about seeking and finding God in the everyday. I don’t want my relationship with God to be one where I treat Him like my 1-800-CRISIS line. It HAS been that way in the past and I found that for many years I felt like God was my enemy because He just didn’t “fix” all of my problems.
Instead, I want to create a spirit of thankfulness in all situations. To find comfort in His promises despite what is happening in the world around me.
Recently I have done a few things to stay in a closer relationship with God. I have been spending a little time each morning in quiet time, reading the Bible, listening to praise music and praying over my husband and my family.
There are mornings when I am exhausted and don’t want to get up with my alarm. And on those mornings, I usually start my prayer time by thanking God for giving me the energy I need to get through the day, to do a short workout, and be awake and beneficial for my family.
A heart of thankfulness makes all the difference, doesn’t it?! (<====Click to Tweet)
Bonnie share her heart in this book. The deepest parts of the hurts from her past, a past that threatened to drown her once the details started coming to light.
And yet she also offers hope.
Hope that our past doesn’t have to define us. And a path to seeking and finding a loving God that wants us to find our rest IN Him.
I don’t want my life to be defined by how busy I was. I am thankful we are busy, but it can’t take the place of spending time seeking God’s plan for my life. Spending time in His Word, offering up prayers, even when they come from exhaustion, with thankfulness on my lips, and singing His praises are just a few things I am doing to find rest.
What areas of your life do you need to find rest?
Purchase a copy for yourself here!
Thank you Bonnie for allowing me to be a part of your amazing team of women seeking to find God, find peace and find rest.
Photo Credit: sherbonbon
Choosing Joy – How One Man Holding a Sign Can Make a Difference
A local furniture store has been advertising a HUGE, EVERYTHING MUST GO, SALE OF THE CENTURY, kind of sale since before Memorial Day weekend. They have big banners in the window and a fleet of 3 cars with big signs attached to the tops of them, that people drive in a caravan around town all day long.
And then there is Paul.
Paul is a young man, I would guess in his 20’s, who stands in front of the store with another sign that advertises the sale.
Every day on our way to and from work, we see Paul. And he is dancing and shaking his hips, and waving as people drive by.
He is a young man, holding a sign for his job. All day long, six days a week, he is out on the sidewalk holding his sign.
And Paul exudes JOY.
It has been HOT and then wet and rainy, stormy and windy all wrapped in one.
And yet, Paul is there waving and dancing and reminding me that we can find joy if we choose to in ANY circumstance.
I think of how often I come to my nice comfortable work space, a job that provides financially for our family, and I am unappreciative of the work I “have” to do and I forget that I “get” to work in the comfort of air conditioning, with chocolates and nice people.
I stop choosing joy and allow the stress to overwhelm me.
Yesterday I was driving by and saw him there again and felt very strongly that God was telling me I needed to stop.
But that is ridiculous, and creepy right?
And I stopped to get gas and asked God to tell me out loud if He really wanted me to stop and meet this man with the sign. (Let me just say that God doesn’t give into my demands…He lets the Holy Spirit do some heart work on me instead)
My heart was pounding and so I drove back to where he was. Except there were 2 cars blocking the driveway entrances…so I had no place to stop. (Excuses I know!)
But I felt like this was something I was supposed to do. So I voxed my closest prayer partners and told them this crazy story…so that I would be held accountable.
And then today at lunch Dominic mentioned the man with the sign and I told him that I felt like we needed to go and stop.
And after lunch we did just that.
We brought him a cold soda, a baggie of chocolates (which maybe wasn’t the smartest idea because it was super hot out) and a Choose Joy card with a $20 “tip”.
I asked him his name – it’s Paul if you hadn’t caught that before.
And I told him that we see him every day, dancing and waving and holding his sign, and that what he does matters.
He is bringing joy to people on the streets of Marshall. He is getting paid to hold a sign but he is doing that job in such a way that it makes a difference.
Maybe God wanted someone to tell him that he was doing just that.
I am so glad we stopped…that moment brought me such joy and a a renewed perspective that we ALL can make a difference – we just have to make the choice to choose joy. (<====Click to Tweet)
Is there someone in your life, someone you see on a regular basis that maybe needs to hear that what they do matters? Take the time today and tell them. Ask them their name and thank them for what they do.
Words can be life changing…what if what you say to encourage someone is JUST what they needed at that moment?
My hope is that Paul will know how much God loves him. It is just an honor to be a small part of sharing that love!
Photo Credit: jakerome
Praying From Head to Toe
Photo Credit and free printable can found at Loving Life at Home!
I am not really sure how I came across Jennifer’s blog. I was probably searching to find some sort of prayer that I could reference in the morning so that I could be more intentional about praying for Dominic.
I spent a lot of years praying that God would change or fix Dominic because in my self-righteousness I believed that any problems we had were his “fault”. I never actively prayed for his protection of God’s favor.
There are a lot of books, posts etc. about wives praying for their husband’s, and it hasn’t been a priority of mine until recently.
I found Jennifer’s site and started praying the head-to-toe prayer every morning. It really is an easy way to focus on intentionally praying for your spouse. I change things up or expand my prayers on some days, but I can always remember the “basics” of this prayer.
After several weeks of doing this every morning, Dominic and I had some sort of silly fight. It wasn’t anything huge but as is typical in a situation like this my response was “well look at what I have been doing that is so holy by praying for you…what have you been doing?!”
I am nice like that…
As I was driving to the office that morning I was messaging a couple of close friends and sharing how terrible I had been. As I was talking I realized that I was focusing my prayers on just Dominic and there were several areas in my own life that needed covering and protection as well!
Insert light bulb going off here! 🙂
So I told them that I was going to start praying those same prayers for myself …and I committed to praying the prayers for these girlfriends and their spouses as well.
There are specific areas that I really need help with – one being my sharp and quick tongue. So when I get to praying for our mouths, I ask that God would put words of affirmation and praise on my lips. That if angry or hurtful words are threatening to come out that I would be unable to speak them.
I can’t say that it is perfect – that since I started I haven’t spoken an angry word…but I believe it has been better. I am more aware of it in myself and willing to have God make the changes in me that refine me to be more of Him and less of me.
Progress not perfection right?!
This has become a meaningful part of my morning routine…I actually am praying while I am on my elliptical when I first get up. Eyes closed, I get some uninterrupted time with God and my workout seems to go faster! Win win! 🙂
Thank you to Jennifer for sharing this wonderful prayer, I am grateful that it is now a part of my quiet time with God! What is a favorite prayer of yours? I’d love to hear about it!