Category Archives: Community

When Neighboring Well is Hard Work – An Introvert’s Struggle

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tuquoise-table

I live in a great community. One of the things that sold us on our home here was the neighborhood. We were fortunate enough to find a home at the end of a cul de sac, and a neighborhood filled with lots of kids.

Our kids can play outside, and we know they are safe and having fun. In our old community we didn’t have any kids in the area and it was rare that someone came by and I heard “friends are here…let’s go outside.”  So to hear those words all the time is such a gift.

So you would think that neighboring well would be easy….

But in all reality, for a girl like me it just isn’t.

I convinced (bullied, manipulated, forced) Dominic to let me get a table for our front yard. I loved the idea of the #TurquoiseTable movement, bringing the backyard to the front. I had wild ideas about hosting parties and making our yard THE place for people to gather.

And then my insecure, unsure self got in the way.

I hosted a little summer party for the neighborhood kids last year and we had hot dogs, cheese balls and watermelon at the table, but I never once invited the adults over. I thought about it…and then fear would set in and I just walked away from the idea.

I started to feel a bit resentful about that table in my front yard. It was a daily reminder of my inability to neighbor well.

The kids have used the table to play chess in the summer, or Pokemon, so it isn’t that it is not used at all…but all those things I encouraged others to do – I wasn’t able to do them myself.

It is a bit embarrassing really.

I guess it just comes down to the fact that I am really not comfortable being me.

I have always struggled with feeling not enough, being not good enough. I know that they are lies, but I feel this need to gain approval and sit with the reality that I just can’t meet this unrealistic standard I have in my own head.

For crying out loud, I walked out of church yesterday and left my 3 kids in the pew alone. ALONE. I was FED UP. My two youngest lovelies weren’t listening. They were laying on the ground, kicking the seats around them, talking well above a whisper, throwing things. I reminded them over and over again that they had to stop.

They didn’t stop and so I said I was leaving and they could wait for church to be over and ride home with their dad. (He was running the projector over in the sound booth and my kids are extra not behaved when he isn’t there in our row.)

The reality was I went to the bathroom. I seriously considered actually leaving. I was over the disrespect and wanted to make a point. THAT is the kind of mother and person I am. Talk about not measuring up. Ha! (I did return after several minutes….against my better judgement.)

Seriously though, churches need an adult nursery. A safe and quiet place where adults can go during the sermon with other quiet adults to be able to LISTEN to the sermon. No kids to be whining or bored or loud and unruly. Nope in adult nursery they aren’t allowed. Kids can fend for themselves. Did I just say that outloud?! Anywhoo….I digress.

So back to my neighborhood.

We have a block party once a year. Everyone brings out their tables and chairs to the center of the street and we share food and stories. The kids love it. Karlena was asking when we got to eat in the street again and last night was the night.

I didn’t want to go.

It isn’t my neighbors, they are amazing. It is just again that I don’t small talk well, and I am nervous joining a conversation. I am the proverbial wall flower. So events like this make me sweat.

We originally had plans to be out of town helping Dominic’s family, so I thought I had an out. Then those plans changed. And we were home. After church we took down our big pool in the backyard, which really did take like 3 hours. But I hadn’t planned that we would participate in the picnic. So I had nothing prepared.

I guess I thought maybe we could just hide inside. 🙁

And Dominic says something like “So we, the family with the Turquoise Table, are going to hide inside and not join the party?”

So at 4:34pm (the party started at 5pm) I was frantically running around my kitchen, making a quick salad to bring, thawing out some meat to grill…all the while our kids are cheering because they get to attend the party. Oh to have their brave hearts!

The evening was really nice. I did still feel uncomfortable at times, I probably always will. But it is ok. I want my kids to learn to neighbor well. I want to be the kind of person that people could come to if they needed something. But I also will probably always be the girl that feels scared and unsure.

I felt like I had to share this post…not because I love putting all my insecurities and faults on display, but because maybe there is someone else out there like me who desires community but is scared of it too.

I get it. I really do.

I don’t have a magical “cure” to make it easier. I just know that there are times that I will have to do something that makes me uncomfortable, and I will survive. And I may even enjoy myself in the process. So friends, if you understand this struggle, know you are not alone!!

I really do love my neighborhood, it is filled with great kids and fantastic people and I don’t want to miss out on more fun events just because of fear! Maybe this is the first step in stomping that fear right out of my life!

And if you see me in church with my lovelies, would you pray for me…clearly I need it! 😉

An Unlikely Bunch – The Gift of Friendship

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Gift of Friendship

I’ll just start out by being really honest with you. I didn’t want to be a part of their “group”. When Dominic “recommended” that I go to the new bible study meeting at church I was less than enthused.

There were several times over the course of the past 4 years that I wanted to participate in one of the bible studies, but there never seemed to be time. But now it was HIS idea so somehow it was a priority. And I didn’t want to go.

You see we were really struggling, no…I was really struggling. My attitude and behavior were less than ideal and I was creating waves in our marriage that were drowning us both. I needed something, I knew it…but I didn’t want it to be something he recommended. Admitting this was a good thing was also an admission that I needed help and I wasn’t ready for that.

I can be a bit overreactive and emotional if you couldn’t tell….

A small piece of me knew that if I didn’t go to this study, I may ruin future opportunities…so that first Monday I got in my car and drove to church. It is a 15 minute drive and I fought with God the entire way. “I DON’T want to be doing this Lord. I know that I need something, but I don’t want it to be the something he recommended. I know I am being terrible right now, so please Lord would you give me even one thing at this study tonight that I could take home with me?”

In my time of desperation, when I called out to God, He heard and He answered.

We are an unlikely bunch. The women in my bible study come from all different places. Some of us are mothers, others grandmas. Some of us are moms of teens and others MOPS. Each of us have a different story to tell. Hurts that have cut us deep and shaped who we are today. Struggles with finances and marriages and freedom from the lies of the enemy.

None of us the same and yet each of us are connected in unity with one goal in mind.

We are seeking a God that loves the very broken women that we are and we are working towards knowing Him more. Becoming a light to those around us, sharing our hurts and our hopes in order to lift one another up.

If you were there with us, you would be warmly welcomed. We don’t have all the answers so we search the God that does. We fail in our jobs and our homes and then we come and share our stories of imperfection. It is a safe place that we can be real and yet walk away lavished in the truth of who we are in Christ.

It was not at all what I expected and exactly what I needed.

I don’t know where you find yourself today. Maybe you have been hurt by the church, or by women…I know it happens and can I just say that I am sorry! I know that I have been that judgmental woman myself, believing that I wouldn’t fit in with “that group.” But boy when I prayed that simple prayer for God to give me one thing I could take home, He gave me an unlikely group of women that have become friends. And I am so grateful.

It is my prayer that we can continue to be that gift to more women that join us…that His love would spread into our homes and our workplaces and communities. That by gathering together as imperfect women, seeking God, we will be able to then be a blessing to someone else who really needs it.

I think that is exactly why God gave us friendships, and today I celebrate that!  Celebrating the friendships that give life today and celebrating the launch of this new book. The Gift of Friendship – Stories that Celebrate the Beauty of Shared Moments by Dawn Camp is available for sale now. A beautiful book filled with stories from women who are doing life with friends. The hard, the wonderful, the scary moments that happen in friendship are all shared in this book. A perfect gift for the friends in your life!

When Hospitality Looks Like A Late Night Cupcake Tasting

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Cupcake TastingI think I need to start this post with an admission…or an apology. But it is highly likely that if you call our house, I will not answer the phone. Oh I may be there…but I am not going to answer an actual call. I know it is silly…I pretty much hate making or taking phone calls. It is something in my introverted self that feels intimidated by the potential for the “awkward silence.” So I screen and call back when necessary.

Last night I had already changed into my “don’t go out of the house lounge clothes.” Dominic was outside getting the garbages out and I was on the couch when the phone rang. I honestly figured it was the school with a graduation related announcement…so I let it go.

Then I heard the voice on the machine…was that Amy saying something about cupcakes and Dominic’s birthday? Sure enough, my friend Amy from church was calling asking if we were still up…she was making cupcakes and wanted to know if they could bring us some for Dominic’s birthday!

Can you even believe that?! Seriously I was blown away!!

So Dominic came inside and I played the message…he was surprised too. He said we could go over and pick up a few cupcakes… 😉 As a side story Amy and her husband Greg bought a house that we had looked at online several times before we moved here. It is a beautiful, older brick home with a ton of character…we had always wanted to see it in person.

So I called her back. It was 9:30 at night, I was in clothes I wouldn’t ever wear outside of the house…and we asked if we could come over instead. She said yes and we headed over.

Sometimes outrageous hospitality looks like a late night cupcake party! (<====Click to Tweet)

The heavenly smell that came out of their kitchen when they opened the door to us was AMAZING. Amy was making cupcakes for her kids to take to school on one of their last days. Lots and lots of cupcakes and all sorts of wonderful flavors.

Cupcakes with oreos on the bottoms and others with strawberries in the center. She was trying a few new recipes out, new creations, and wanted us to try a little bit of everything so we could tell her if it was a recipe she should use again.

She and her family gave us a tour of their home. She said don’t judge…it’s lived in. But all I could see was a space filled with love. Yep there may have been messes in the kids rooms and clothes in piles (just like my own)…but it didn’t matter. When you open your home, as it is, and invite people in…the condition of the space is the last thing that will be seen. What is seen is love.

We were showered with love last night.

The fact that she called and offered to share some cupcakes with us because she saw it was Dominic’s birthday was one thing. The fact that they opened their home, made us feel welcome and shared laughter and stories and cupcakes until probably way too late on a school night…that is hospitality.

She has a gift, not only in baking, but in making people feel like family. 

We went home last night full and with a few extra cupcakes to share. But more importantly we felt a covering of God’s love in a way we haven’t in awhile. All she did was pick up the phone and make a call.

Is it really that simple?!

Honestly I forget sometimes how easy community can be if we are willing to step out and make a simple call. What a reminder that was for me last night. What a blessing to be remembered.

Amy, what a blessing you were to us last night. Thank you for simply picking up the phone and making that call…for inviting us in and stuffing us full of your amazing creations. 😉 I pray that God pours our a special measure of blessings on you today!

When Community Looks Like a Rally Cry – A God-sized Dreams Post

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Community-Stronger

Community has been on my heart since I attended Allume in October. I have always had a longing to build community, but I hadn’t yet felt the calling to really implement it in my own home town. It is scary and exciting all at the same time. We are introducing some really fun things at our church here in MN and I wait in eager anticipation to see what God will do with and through all of it.

I thought that was what I was going to write about this month, until I experienced community in a completely overwhelming and different way recently. It was unexpected and born out of a trial, but sometimes community looks like a rally cry. And through this I have learned that we are stronger together.

I felt desperate.

But even with the people that I am most comfortable with, I want there to be the appearance of having it all together. (<====Click to Tweet)

Especially as the “leader” of this fine group of women, if I shared my reality…what would they all think?

But God has been showing me all year that I must have full dependence on Him, and sometimes it means that I need to be willing to ask for help.

So I sucked up my pride and sent a message to the women on this team here at GSD’s.

Honestly, I just got chills again as I think about what happened next…..

I am sharing the rest of this story over at God-sized Dreams today. Will you join me there?!

Can You Relate?

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Relate-Womens-Ministry-1

I want to share something that I am SO excited to be a part of. Recently I was at a baby shower with a few women from my church. We spent the entire time talking and laughing and sharing stories. It was a wonderful time connecting with some of the women that I know, but didn’t know well.

A couple of us started talking later about how we needed to try and do things like that more often. I have said before that community is so important to me and being surrounded by other women (in person) was such a gift. How could we foster that type of community in our local church?

My friend Steph has had a heart for seeing some sort of Women’s Ministry at our church form and even had the perfect name for it…Relate! A place that we could gather together as one and find all those common ways that we can relate to one another.

So we are taking a leap of faith and moving forward and Relate Women’s Ministry was born!

God gave me some words to try and express our heart behind this ministry and I wanted to share those here. Friends if you are in the Marshall MN area and want to join me for our first “event” – please let me know!! I would love to have you join us!

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I don’t know about any of you…but Sunday mornings can be pretty stressful around our house. Heck any morning can be pretty stressful. Getting everyone out the door on time, without fighting can be a challenge can’t it?

So let me just say congratulations on even being here today!

But can I be honest for a minute? I am pretty intimidated by all of you. I desperately want for you to believe that I have it all together, as though that belief would make you like me more…but the reality is that there are some Sunday mornings that I am screaming in the car on the way to church.

Can anyone relate?

Maybe you are a mom to small children and it feels like you have changed 1000 diapers too many and you just want to have an adult conversation for 5 minutes.

Maybe all of your children are grown and out of the house and you are wondering what your purpose is now?

Maybe you are single and you wonder if you will ever get married?

Or you are struggling in your marriage and you feel like you are the only one who isn’t seeing life through rose colored glasses…

Can anyone relate?

God is pretty clear about how He feels about community. He created us to be in community together, to support one another and to lift each other up.

Hebrews 10:24-25 “And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.”

Galatians 6:2 “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ”

Matthew 18:20 “For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.”

A few of us have been talking about how we can create a community for the women of Swan Lake. A safe place where we can meet and find laughter, encouragement, and lift one another up. A place where there is no judgement or comparisons but instead a time where we can share stories and just relate to one another. Find that common ground that IS there between all of us!

A place for all women. For the mothers and the singles, the empty nesters and the retirees. If you are a women (sorry guys) we extend an invitation for you to join us. Because this is new we don’t have everything figured out yet…but if you have a heart for this type of ministry we encourage you to join us and bring your ideas.

We are hoping to gather together once a month, on a Friday night or Saturday morning for a few hours. We will have an activity and a devotion and a time of fellowship. I know that there are several women here that I don’t know well and I am guessing the same could be said for many of you. We want to change that and are hoping that this is the place to start!

So for our first “event” we will be showing the movie “Mom’s Night Out” here at the church on Friday May 1st. It is a funny movie and one that all women, regardless of where they are in life, can relate to. Come ready to laugh and eat some popcorn and enjoy some fellowship with other women!

Feel free to bring a friend too! All women are welcome!