It was October, so many years ago. I was sitting in my car in the parking lot at the bank I worked for and I was done.

For 10 years we had struggled. It hadn’t ever been easy really. Financially, emotionally…so many roadblocks and so many mistakes.

I was unsure of what the future would hold but I was also terrified of remaining in the state we had found ourselves. Contemptuous, angry, bitter…

I knew something had to change and I was so self absorbed and stubborn that I didn’t think I needed to do any of the changing. It is always easier to blame someone else isn’t it?

At that moment though I knew that I couldn’t live that way any longer. That day I almost walked away.

But God.

I know I have shared parts of our story here before, but this one bears repeating. God took our broken, our weary and worn out hearts and restored them.

It wasn’t easy and I struggled with change and forgiveness, but I had a small glimmer of hope that something may be different. And it was.

Painfully we worked through our greatest struggles, we started to fight FOR our marriage instead of against it. Laughter returned and the tears came less and less.

Today nearly 10 more years later I praise God that He stepped in and saved us. The fact that we have the opportunity to work together every day and enjoy it isn’t lost on me.

Yes I almost walked away. I was convinced there was no hope. Today though I fight for it, I share the ugly parts of our story so if there is someone else who is at their “almost”….they too can find hope.

It’s there friends. We have to be willing to seek God and trust Him with all of ourselves. We have to be willing to be honest, make amends, take responsibility for what is ours….When we do we will see change and that is a beautiful thing!

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Because I am a part of this fun #Write31Days community I have something extra fun to share with you for the rest of this month! DaySpring.com is celebrating all of the amazing Write 31 Days readers who are supporting nearly 2,000 writers this October! To enter to win a $500 DaySpring shopping spree, just click on this link & follow the giveaway widget instructions. Good luck, and thanks for reading! I’d love to see one of my readers win this so enter today because this is the LAST DAY to enter!! 🙂

It roars and beckons. It is always in motion, constantly pushing and pulling…even in the distance where the waves are not forming it is moving.

As I sit at the water’s edge, the sea calls to me.

There is something incredibly peaceful about watching the waves crash into the shore line. Hearing the song that they make over and over again.

“Oceans” has been a favorite song of mine since I heard it a few years ago for the first time at Allume. “You call me out unto the waters, the great unknown where feet may fail..”

Standing on the sand, watching the water roll in around me, I can feel the shifting beneath my toes. As the water pulls back out my footing becomes unsure…my feet may fail.

“And there I find you in the mystery, in oceans deep my faith will stand.” The sea is a mystery, its never ending movement, the fact that the water seems to know where to stop.

As I sit and watch it I am overcome by the presence of a God that not only controls the waters and the tides, but also formed me in His image and loves me.

What a mystery Lord….

“I will call upon your name, and keep my eyes above the waves….I am yours and you are mine.”

I call out to Him, I have sought him and He has made His presence known. Always with me, always surrounding me…He is mine and I am His.

The sea reminds me of God’s mighty power and beautiful creation but also is a reflection of my faith. God calls us out to unsure seas and asks if we trust Him.

Sometimes we step out onto the water and walk towards Him. And at times I fumble and fear overwhelms and I start to sink…but He is there, holding out His hand for me.

Seek Me and you will find Me.

I am yours Lord, I am yours.

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Because I am a part of this fun #Write31Days community I have something extra fun to share with you for the rest of this month! DaySpring.com is celebrating all of the amazing Write 31 Days readers who are supporting nearly 2,000 writers this October! To enter to win a $500 DaySpring shopping spree, just click on this link & follow the giveaway widget instructions. Good luck, and thanks for reading! I’d love to see one of my readers win this so enter today!! 🙂

Hebrews 6: 19 “I have this hope, an anchor for my soul, firm and secure….”

I spent a lot of years just holding on. Hope wasn’t a word that I dare utter because I just believed there wasn’t any. It didn’t exist for a girl like me.

Married young and full of mistakes and regret…I couldn’t hope to change, I just believed that we were stuck in the cycle we found ourselves in.

We spent many years trapped in the mire of our mistakes. Too stubborn and selfish to see past ourselves, we just got comfortable being uncomfortable.

And then one day God changed all of that. It wasn’t a fireworks/angels singing type of moment. Just a realization that our way of living wasn’t living…it was leading towards a slow death.

Certain we couldn’t do it on our own we reached out and were just a little bit willing to try something new…and hope was born in us.

Change doesn’t happen over night and I have said before that we struggled to make our way and stumbled many times…but God redeemed and restored. I hadn’t believed it was possible, but it was and I always remember those times as a time of hope.

We continue to have our fair share of bumps in the road. Life isn’t perfect or easy around our parts, but my perspective of it has changed. I know that I need to hold tight to my faith in God through the difficult times.

I can’t imagine going through life trying to manage it all on my own. I am completely and utterly incapable of doing it! But God is the anchor for my soul. My faith in Him keeps me grounded, firm and secure.

I don’t know what trouble you might be facing today friend, but it is my prayer that you would seek the One, the only One who is a sure and firm foundation…an anchor to weather any storm that may come. May knowing that fill you with hope and peace.

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Because I am a part of this fun #Write31Days community I have something extra fun to share with you for the rest of this month! DaySpring.com is celebrating all of the amazing Write 31 Days readers who are supporting nearly 2,000 writers this October! To enter to win a $500 DaySpring shopping spree, just click on this link & follow the giveaway widget instructions. Good luck, and thanks for reading! I’d love to see one of my readers win this so enter today!! 🙂

It was a “perhaps” moment that changed the course of my life.

In 2008 I was suffocating from the loss of a pregnancy that we had tried so long and hard to have. I felt we deserved to be pregnant and when we lost the baby, I wondered why God would allow something so terrible to happen to me.

I didn’t know how to move past the feelings of anger and bitterness I was feeling. I finally admitted that I needed to see someone to talk through my feelings.

“Perhaps you should write a letter to your child.” she said.

At first thought it seemed a little crazy really, why would I write a letter to a baby I wouldn’t ever see this side of heaven? But I trusted her and wanted so badly to be well again…

Blogging was new to me at that time, but I had read a few that had a profound impact on my life and an old love of writing was stirred inside of me.

“Perhaps I will start a blog.”

And so I did. That letter to my child was one of the first posts that I wrote. I cried the ugly cry through the entire post and cry every time I go back and read it. So many hopes and so much love wrapped up in that post.

I hadn’t journaled or written anything in years. Life had gotten the best of me and having a creative outlet seemed impossible, but beginning that blog brought me back to life.

“Perhaps I will apply for this book launch team for one of my favorite authors.” 

Another pivotal moment. A yes and a welcome that again changed my life. Opening a door to not only life long friends, but a realization that we do all have a story and they need to be shared.

I was able to walk through some of my darkest times because you shared your stories and gave me hope. It is my honor to try and do the same here.

If there is something in your life that God has given you a passion for perhaps you should be brave and step out in faith and do it.

I know God in a completely different way than I did back in 2008. I have been seeking Him this entire time and it has been a journey, but one that has been life changing. Thank you so much for being a part of my story friends.

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Because I am a part of this fun #Write31Days community I have something extra fun to share with you for the rest of this month! DaySpring.com is celebrating all of the amazing Write 31 Days readers who are supporting nearly 2,000 writers this October! To enter to win a $500 DaySpring shopping spree, just click on this link & follow the giveaway widget instructions. Good luck, and thanks for reading! I’d love to see one of my readers win this so enter today!! 🙂