Category Archives: Being a mom

When Anger is My Expected Response

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Last week I shared a little bit about my struggle with anger. Of course when I open up and share the ugly and my hopes to overcome the struggle…I have to anticipate that I will be given plenty of opportunities to “practice” a different response.

Anger

This past week I have had some failures and some successes. For a bit of light today, I want to share a success and why it was a reminder once again that my attitude and response to my kids can make such an impact.

On Wednesday last week, Dominic and I took Isaac back up to SDSU for a college visit. Becky (Dominic’s mom) was in Marshall and picked up the kids from school for us because we weren’t going to be back in time.

Usually the after-school pick up is the time that I have with just me and Gabriel to ask how his day was. Depending on the day he usually has a good, or a bad point to share. 🙂 It is less than 10 minutes really that we have together, but it has become an important time for both of us.

We got home from the college visit right before it was time for Gabriel to go to Awana. So he and I jumped in the car and drove the 15 miles to our church.

I took the time to ask Gabriel about his day and he paused, sighed really big, and said that he just had to tell me the truth about something. He seemed stressed, so I told him to please go ahead.

He said that he lost his folder. His main folder that holds his homework, contains his reading log…it is kind of a big deal. He was unable to participate in math class because he didn’t have his homework…and he feared telling me because he anticipated that I would be angry.

You see when anger is my first response, I teach my kids that anger should be the expected response. (<====Click to Tweet)

When Gabriel told me about his folder, I honestly wasn’t angry about it…but he was afraid that I was going to be. He said that he didn’t want to tell me, but he remembered once when I told him that I would rather know the truth and deal with a situation right away, then not be told the truth.

I said that I was sorry he had lost it, that it had caused stress during his afternoon. I asked if he wanted to pray about it and he did. We prayed over his finding his folder. We prayed a prayer of thanks that God forgives, and I reminded him that we all make mistakes. I said that he could learn from this and work a little harder about checking to make sure he had everything he needed when he left his classroom.

After it was all said and done he thanked me.

It honestly broke my heart, but he thanked me for being comforting and not getting angry.

You see he has experienced me being angry at him enough, that when my response is one of compassion, he thanked me.

It was a reminder why this journey is such an important one.

I want my automatic response to be one of compassion, not anger. (<====Click to Tweet)

Yes we will all make mistakes, and while there are consequences, my attitude doesn’t have to make the consequence worse.

Such a stronger reminder to me that my response can have such an impact.

And the next day Gabriel found his folder in his block 2 class. Praise God.

Lord, I thank you for giving me opportunities to “practice” at being a better responder. My prayer is that my response will not be one of anger, but of compassion and patience. May my life be a reflection of all the patience and compassion that You have shown to me. In Jesus Name, Amen

A Mother’s Day Prayer

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My dear friend Delonna is the new Prayer Team Leader for the God-sized Dreams website and since taking on that role in Houston has come up with some amazing ideas. One of those ideas was to start doing a Podcast series where she can pray over all that visit the site.

I just love her heart, and while she isn’t a mama to a biological child, she is a woman with a mother’s heart. Her love for orphans is amazing and I am just so blessed by her!

She recorded her first podcast so that it would be ready in time for Mother’s Day. So please take a few minutes and be blessed by her words and her prayer and share with a mother in your life!

 

Happy Mother’s Day friends!

Where Two or More are Gathered…..

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Holding HandsMatthew 18:20 “20 For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.”

Right now Isaac, our oldest, is over at the High School taking his ACT test.  I was up early to make him some breakfast and when the younger kids came down stairs I told them that we needed to remember Isaac and be praying for him because he had a big test today.

Isaac (for right now) says he is interested in Pharmacy. He thinks that he will attend SDSU and they have a program there that allows for early entry into the pre-pharm program as a freshman if you get a 27 or higher on the ACT. You are also eligible for more scholarships if that happens….needless to say he has a pretty high expectation of what he wants as a minimum score on the test today.

I remember taking my ACT test and not getting the score I had hoped for….it wasn’t terrible, but I was sure I was smarter than the test said I was. 😉 So as a mom now I have anxiety over this for him too!

I put out a call for prayer to some of those most amazing prayer warriors I know. It is good to have a circle of friends that will lift up even the smallest prayer requests!

Then as I was cleaning up the kitchen after breakfast Elijah (almost 5) came up to me and said that we should pray for Isaac!

So we sat down in the middle of the kitchen together and held hands.

I said “Did you know that the Bible says that where 2 or more are gathered together in God’s name, that God is there with them?”

“God is here right now Elijah, with us, hearing our prayers for Isaac!”

His eyes got big and he smiled….and then we prayed a prayer over his big brother.

It was 8:03am….right as Isaac was getting ready to start his younger brother was praying over him. I can’t tell you how much I love that!

I don’t know how he will do…or if he will get the score he wants.

I do know that our kids hear us. It is important to talk about God and prayer even in the most general of conversations. And when our kids come to us and want to engage us in prayer…stop everything and do it!

My heart is full this morning.

Regardless of how it turns out – Isaac left knowing that there were women across the country praying for him, that his siblings were praying for him…. and THAT is better than any positive test result.

Thank you for praying for my children – for covering them with blessings. I am so grateful to have a community here that loves me and my family so well!!

Photo Credit: fromcolettewithlove

Making Muffins in the Morning

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Muffins

Tonight I am driving to Sioux Falls to stay overnight so that I can catch my morning flight to Greenville, South Carolina! I can hardly believe that Allume is here. It was months ago that I bought my ticket and booked the flight….and now it is here.

I am terrified and excited all wrapped in one.

I have a list of things that I really wanted to get done before I left. My floors are in desperate need of mopping. DESPERATE. But it just isn’t going to get done…(my apologies to Dominic’s family who are coming for a visit while I am gone!!)

I worked late at the office last night to get a few things done there as well so I can leave and not stress about what I am coming back to.

This morning I wanted some quiet time and maybe one last round of my ab exercises. My feeble attempting at fitting well into my skinny jeans. 😉 But my Elijah had different plans when he was up and out of bed at 5:10 am.

I could have easily been frustrated. I offered him a few easy choices for breakfast – but he wasn’t interested. So then I suggested muffins. He was excited and of course wanted to help.

If you have baked with children you know that nothing is quick and easy with littles under foot.  But I felt the Spirit prodding me to take the time. To set aside my agenda, my toned abs (ha!!) and my quiet time for quality time with my 3rd born.

So we got out the mix, I let him pour it in the bowl and add the milk, and he did the stirring. He loves to participate like that and I should let him help more often!

And so this morning we made muffins, chocolate chip ones. And they were yummy.  I didn’t get in my devotional reading, I didn’t get in my workout but I made a memory with my son.

I think God wants that from us as wives and mothers. I know that quiet time is important and taking care of my body is important. But I believe that we can honor God when we serve our family well.

So today I encourage you to find a little way to love on your family. Even if it means sacrificing your to-do list. I promise you will be rewarded for it!!

A Mom’s Night Out

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In less than 2 weeks I will be heading out to Greenville, SC to attend Allume. I am a mess of excited and terrified right now but am just praying God’s blessing on this trip.

On Friday night we get to attend a PJ party hosted by the new upcoming movie Mom’s Night Out! We will get to see a sneak peak at the movie and then they are having an open mic time for people to share their blog posts about why we need a mom’s night out!  This is what I wrote and if I have the courage, I will share that Friday! 🙂

The growing stain on the kitchen ceiling was the first indication that something was terribly wrong.

Then my 16 year old son came downstairs carrying a soaked towel with these orangey chunks all over it.

Apparently there was a “bit of a mess upstairs”.

“Bit of a mess” didn’t even begin to describe what we walked into.

Puddles of water all over the floor, and Goldfish crackers, well the remains of what was once Goldfish crackers. What we found instead were piles of wet, mushy orange blobs. Blobs that stained the carpet I might add.

The play table was covered with a layer of water and every cup-like toy that was in the room was full.

After some prodding we realize that while I was downstairs taking care of our 2 1/2 year old who had the stomach flu, another whole story, our 4 year old son found an empty milk jug in the recycling bin and proceeded to fill it in the next door bathroom and carry it over to the toy room to “play”.

And play he did! He left no space untouched. Several toys just needed to be thrown away. But what about that stain? What had caused that stain in our kitchen ceiling?

Sure there was water all over the floor and it was soaked in places, but not so badly that I thought it would seep through to the floor below.

No something else had happened – but what?

And then I saw it….

In our house we have several vents covers that aren’t attached to anything and are easily moved. When I saw the cover moved over slightly I asked him…

“Did you pour water down the vent?”

Eyes wide, and guilt washed all over his face, he just stared at me.

Busted!

But things were starting to make sense. He had poured water down into the air vent and it had run it’s course until it found a seam and then had leaked out into the space above our kitchen.

Like his own little toy water slide. I am sure in his mind it seemed like a wonderful idea!

And so the clean up process began, the spills were wiped, the goldfish clumps scooped up and eventually the stain in ceiling would be painted over.

And I’d love to tell you that this was an isolated incidence, but the reality is this is what happened on Sunday afternoon….If I had more time I would tell you the story about the Desitin jug and toothbrush painting, the time we had to buy a plumber’s toilet snake to retrieve not one but 5 toothbrushes out, or the underwear in the sump hole story – yes that’s a doozie!!

I am sure you all have your own stories because being a mom is HARD work!!

And THAT is why I need a mom’s night out!

I’d love to hear your stories – please share one in the comments below!! Let’s get a laugh together today!!