Monthly Archives: June 2014

Mel’s Amazing Black Bean Salsa Recipe

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This is my friend Mel. She writes over at A Barefoot Life. We initially met as a part of the God-sized Dream Team, then became part of a mastermind group on FB, were roomies at Allume and now are part of the founding team at the God-sized Dreams website. Oh and we are in the same Hello Mornings group as well! Mel and I, while we have only known each other for less than 2 years, feel like we are sisters. 🙂

Mel and I

She is awesome and when I share her amazing recipe you are all going to want to know her more too! 😉 So we were doing a little “get-to-know-you” in our Hello Mornings group and someone suggested we have a virtual picnic and asked what we would bring.

Mel said she would bring her black bean salsa recipe because it was amazing.

Now I am not a fan of the beans. Personally I think they taste like dirt. I would eat bean-less chili if I could, I really would! 🙂 But my husband is a bean fan and this recipe sounded like something he would really like. So I asked her for the recipe – because she said she would share and she is awesome like that!

I clarified that I probably would NOT like it…but I was willing to make it for my husband, since our anniversary was a few days away.

Now a little disclaimer…Mel does give credit to her MIL for the original recipe…but she tweaked a bit and since I am sharing what she shared with me – we are calling this “Mel’s Amazing Black Bean Salsa”! I will put the entire recipe at the end of the post!

Mel's Bean Dip 1

This recipe is really so easy…just a few ingredients and a little chopping and it is done!

Tomato, Avocado, Red Onion and Cilantro.

A can of Black Beans and a can of Mexican Corn. (Now my Walmart didn’t have Mexican Corn but I found Fiesta Corn and figured that would be close enough)

Also the Roma tomatoes were looking a little sad the 2nd time I made this recipe so I just used regular ones and I think it turned out just fine.

Mel's Bean Dip 2

Here it is all ready for the final topping.

My Walmart also didn’t have the Fiesta Hidden Valley Ranch packets the first time I made this so instead I bought a regular and a green onion packet. (Did I mention that I doubled the recipe every time I have tried this?!) It is just THAT good!!

Mel's Bean Dip 3

If you can’t find the Fiesta packets, trust me that these will still make it taste great!

Mix the packets with some olive oil and white wine vinegar and pour it over everything you have in your bowl.

Now I will admit that it tastes even better after it has been in the refrigerator for a few hours…but it was so good that we ate a bunch of it right out of the bowl – no double dipping of course! 🙂

Mel's Bean Dip 5

This salsa is great on chips, Ritz crackers, eggs, steak…boy the list could go on and on. In fact it has become a staple in our home…a condiment we can’t live without.

And this girl, this “beans taste like dirt” disbeliever? I am a changed woman. This will be my go to recipe whenever I need to bring something to a picnic or potluck.

Thanks so much Mel for having and sharing such a wonderful recipe…now go out and get the ingredients and make some for yourself! Your family will thank you, I promise! 🙂

Mel’s Amazing Black Bean Salsa Recipe
1 can black beans, drained and rinsed
1 can Mexican corn, drained (regular is fine, too)
3 roma tomatoes, diced
1/2 red onion, diced
2 avocados, diced
chopped cilantro (I’ve also used dried)

Mix the first 6 ingredients, then add the dressing:

1/4 c white wine vinegar
1/4 c olive oil
1 pkg Hidden Valley Fiesta Ranch seasoning

Just Paint – A Riches of His Love Parenting Series…Advice from the WORST mom ever!

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Parenting Series

I hadn’t even been home from work for 5 minutes and I was ready to go back.

Yes it was Friday night and I should have been excited about the upcoming weekend, but the reality was that I walked into kids fighting and I could feel my blood pressure rise immediately.

What is it about fighting, screaming kids that can push you over the edge?!

The past two days had been especially bad. Elijah spent the early part of the week away at a fun camp with his grandparents and cousin Isabel. Apparently he cried every night for us but once he came home, the “missing mom feelings” wore off and his temper and sass were back in full force.

I tried some calm and positive correction.

His response?

“I don’t like your attitude mom”

Excuse me?!

Anything I or his brother Gabriel said to him he repeated in a taunting voice. He was testing the waters big time!

Then he told me that he couldn’t stop being naughty because they devil was making him do it and because the devil was making him misbehave it wasn’t really his fault. (Seriously?!)

I could feel myself getting more and more angry and it was work to keep my voice from yelling back at him.

And then I decided to ask him what he wanted to do. What was it that would help him to behave?

“Paint, I want to paint.”

He has asked to paint before and usually I find a reason not to bring out the paints. It always seems like such a hassle.

But for some reason this night I thought it was worth a try. No he hadn’t “deserved” the right to do something he really wanted to do. He had been nothing but naughty for almost 2 hours straight, but I was desperate for a change…so I said yes.

Just Paint

We got out the watercolors and a few sheets of paper, a cup of water and he was ready to go.

He painted for maybe 10 minutes. 10 blissful, sass-free minutes and it was wonderful. 

Within a half hour he was right back to burping at his brother and chasing his sister. Short-lived peace, yes, but I learned a good lesson.

Sometimes we have to be willing to try something new. We need to say yes to things like painting if it means we will be able to regain some of our sanity, even if just for a few minutes.

What have you said yes to, in order to get some peace from your kids?! I’d love for you to share your stories in the comments below!!

A Mother on the Edge – A Riches of His Love Parenting Series…Advice From the WORST mom ever!

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Parenting Series

I got a vox from a dear friend this morning. She was a mother on the edge. It was maybe the 10th full day of summer and she was struggling to find sanity in the craziness of schedules that had been thrown out the window, routines down the drain, and a 4 year old who seemed to try and push EVERY.SINGLE.BUTTON.

While her message was sprinkled with humor, there was a bit of desperation in her voice as well. How will I make it through until August?!

As a mother who clearly has her act together (insert a loud snort and a chuckle) I responded back with some prayers and a little advice.

Now, I don’t give advice because I have it all together or do this parenting thing right every day. Nope in fact most days I FAIL miserably! 

My daughter never flushes the toilet after she poops so anyone going in after her gets a fun surprise. And no, most times she does not use toilet paper. (I know, gross right?!)

My now 5 year old told me today that I was NOT the only one in charge in the family and I couldn’t tell him to behave. (I then threatened  asked him if I should call his father to clear the whole issue up…oh yes I did!!) He may have stuck his tongue out at me….I have blocked that memory out.

No, clearly I am probably the WORST mom to be giving advice, because I don’t have the best behaved children on the block. But I am right down in the trenches with you moms and have found a few things that have worked over the years.

My friend said I should write a book, if not that, at least a blog series. I laughed and said who would read a book called “Parenting Advice from the Worst Mom Ever“? (I am officially trademarking that name too if I ever do write a book, although I don’t know that saying you are trademarking something is technically “legal” and would stand up in court but I am going to go with it!)

Sorry for the legal tangent, back to the “story”…She said she would read a book with that title ha! 🙂 So for fun, and a little change this summer I thought I would try a little blog series.

I realize that a series should be consistent, you know on the same day every week…If I were following the right “how-to’s” in blogging I would add a linky and ask you to share your posts.

But the reality is that we are in our busiest time of the year, for this time of the year! I keep thinking it will slow down and it hasn’t – all good but it has left me exhausted and unavailable when it comes to writing!

So I can’t promise when I will post again in the series – but I know that I have some fun stories to share. And this will be good for me too because I can remind myself of some of the things I have learned in the past so that I can try them again when the opportunity presents itself! Because trust me they WILL present themselves again.

I hope you come along for the ride, and even though I won’t have a fancy linky (because I have NO IDEA how to add one and can’t possibly take the time to learn.) Please share your stories in the comments so we can find strength in numbers.

This parenting thing is tough business and we need all the help we can get! (<====Click to Tweet) I don’t want you to come here and think I have it figured out and that you can’t measure up to me because that is just crazy funny! No perfect parenting how-to’s here!

Instead I will share how I have done it wrong, and then maybe with a little grace, done it better the next time! 😉

 So what do you think?! Will you join me?!

Dream Because of Your Children!

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Dream BIG!

Hey friends, lean in close, and let me tell you a secret. I can be a wonderful encourager of others to follow their dreams, but when it comes to my own? Well let’s just say that I often find myself making excuses and shaking in my boots!

I had the rare opportunity to spend a little bit of time at the park with my sister and our kids one weekend recently, and as we talked I realized once again that this dreaming business is hard for so many of us!

Beth, who is younger and has the beautiful straight hair I always wished for, :) is doing a little dream chasing herself very soon. But it wasn’t easy for her to come to that jumping off point and go for it. Beth has a beautiful voice. She was part of concert choir and show choir in high school, and even took voices lessons at one point along the way, but somewhere I believe that her faith in her abilities faded and she stopped singing for and in front of others.

I completely understand the feeling.

I sing on the worship team at church and want to throw up every Sunday that I stand on the altar at the front – all those eyes looking at me. :)

I once had a 3 line “solo”, if you can call it that when the congregation is singing along with you, and my voice started to shake so bad…it simultaneously terrifies and exhilarates me. I love to sing, I have always loved it but somewhere along the way my confidence in any talent I may have, went down the drain.

Beth shared with me that since American Idol first came on the air she thought about auditioning. When she turned 27 and officially was “too old” to try she felt a sadness about it. Then she heard about the show The Voice. Twice she signed up to go and audition, but life and maybe a little fear got in the way, and she didn’t follow through with it.

She said that every time she thought about the fact that she hadn’t done it, she felt a pit in her stomach. (Sounds like a dream trying to bust out to me!!)

I am so excited to share the rest of this story with you over at God-sized Dreams – please join me and leave a little encouragement for my amazing sister! 🙂

18 Years and Counting…

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Anniversary

18 years ago, on June 1st, Dominic and I stood before a group of our family and friends and vowed to God and one another that we would keep the sacred bond of marriage. The picture above was always a favorite of mine because it was the first picture taken as we walked out of the church as husband and wife.

When my dad gave me away in the ceremony, he took both of our hands and said that he had just one piece of advice for us. “Never, never, never give up.”

It was beautiful and I was sure that we would do just that. Divorce wasn’t a word that had been spoken in our families, so it wasn’t a concern.

But if you would have asked me 10 years ago if we would be this close to celebrating a 20 year anniversary, I would have probably said that you were crazy. What started out as excitement, joy and a bit of nervousness turned quickly into high and often unmet expectations, frustration, bitterness and resentment for both of us.

Marriage is tough isn’t it?!

Marriage can be difficult even when you do things the “right” way…you know courtship, down-on-one-knee proposal, wedding and then kids. But when you enter into marriage in a more, ahem, unconventional way…pregnancy and then marriage – well let’s just say that it isn’t an easy way to start.

I have said before that we were ill-equipped to be parents much less husband and wife. We just had no idea how much grace and forgiveness, how much release of selfishness would be needed to make a marriage successful!

There were times that I was certain that even God couldn’t fix the hurt we had heaped onto one another. And while the idea to “never give up” seemed like the wise choice, I can say that I wanted to run at the first sign of trouble.

I didn’t know how to handle the conflict we faced and divorce became a common threat used in my vocabulary. Because threatening people with an ultimatum and not following through time and time again is a wonderful way to build trust and closeness isn’t it?!

Sigh…

For years we struggled. We didn’t communicate well and I became angry and bitter. Disrespectful is a mild description of the way and manner that I treated Dominic on most days. It really is a miracle that we are still married today…

But God

Oh how I love the stories that have a But God moment in them, don’t you?!

All those years that I thought God had abandoned us, He was right there. We were the ones that had turned from Him!

And about 8 years ago we both came to that breaking point. That place where one is finally willing to let go and let God work – to do whatever it would take to see change happen.

And God showed up in a BIG way.

Hearts softened, forgiveness was given and received, selfishness was put aside and things began to change. (<==== Click to Tweet)

This change was slow and painful at times. Someone once told me that it takes years to cause the damage and we can’t expect that just because we become willing to change, that our lives will be roses from that moment on.

And it is true!

But God was there in the smallest details. He put people in our lives to support and encourage us. We had people praying for us, others that would listen to us complain and justify and then gently help us see a Godly perspective of how marriage and relationship should be.

It was, and continues to be, hard work.

But I have found that it is in those difficult times that I am seeking God more, relying on Him for strength, and I desire to give Him the praise and the glory for any transformation that occurs.

On Sunday we had the amazing opportunity to share some of our story with our congregation at church. I couldn’t help thinking the entire time that it was all God. The reason we could even be up on that stage was His doing.

He made the change possible. God’s grace towards us is the reason that we have learned how to give grace to one another. His forgiveness of our sins the example we use to forgive each other.

Today we celebrate 18 years. While they haven’t always been “easy”…ok they haven’t ever been easy! 🙂  But we have grown and matured, we have found in the last 8 years a personal relationship with a God that has blessed us time and time again. And we are teaching our kids that God is God even when life isn’t perfect. And He is worthy to be praised!

I am so grateful for Dominic, for his patience and love on all of the days that I am not very lovable. I am thankful  that God has transformed our marriage, allowing us to work together and raise a family. We are blessed.