Monthly Archives: January 2013

The Darkest Hour

Posted on by
13

In 2010 our family experienced numerous changes. I was pregnant with Karlena, Dominic had taken a new (and much prayed over) job in MN and for 8 months, through the worst winter ever, we lived apart during the week.

In May of that year we sold our first home, bought another in a neighboring state and dove head first into what I believed was “the reason God brought us here“.

While things were always (putting it mildly) tough at Dominic’s new job we felt like there was a “reason” he was there. I was allowed to work from home with the Bank I had been employed with for 13 years….it felt like, for the most part, we were finally coming to a stable place.

And then in late 2011 the bottom dropped out. And in a BIG way I might add.

In the matter of a few short months we went from 2 high-paying jobs with wonderful (and cheap) benefits….to both being unemployed, uninsured and facing the real reality that we might have to walk away from our dream home, our dreams here and move into the basement of one of our parents.

Trust me….these were dark times.

Dominic handled it better than I did. He would just keep telling me that everything was going to be ok. He didn’t know how…but he knew that it would. Even if it meant giving up what we thought we “deserved” here.

I on the other hand didn’t handle it well at all. I sunk into a fast, and dark depression. I was convinced that things would not be ok. I believed with my whole heart that we had followed what we thought was God’s path, and it wasn’t, so we were reaping the results of that.

And I didn’t know how, and didn’t want to deal with it.

I was embarrassed about what we were going through and I wanted out. I started thinking that if something “happened” to me…and it was an accident, then Dominic and the kids could collect on my life insurance and everything would be better.

I am not proud of how I dealt with everything, how I allowed myself to believe the lies that “death” was an answer or how much my faith slipped during this time….but I share it here because I want you to understand the depths of my hopelessness.

I couldn’t see how it could possibly turn around. I didn’t want to accept help from others. I was stubborn and prideful and my family suffered and worried because of it.

But God was bigger than my lack of faith. He knew the path we would be walking….and He loved me through my time of anger and questioning.

While things didn’t play out as I thought they should….because of course I know what’s best for my life…. 🙂 Things that have evolved over the past 8 months are MORE than the dreams that we thought we had!

Did you hear that? What I thought was the “dream” for our family….was so small in comparison to what God had planned.

Today my husband is running his own business, a dream we thought wouldn’t be possible for many years. It is so busy that he asked if I would join him and help out around the office. I spent the past 2 days working along side him….and my heart is so full.

I have seen God take my hopelessness, my mistrust and my lack of faith…..and turn it into something that is a blessing to our entire family. He IS good….He always was….I just couldn’t, wouldn’t choose to see it.

Friends, I don’t know where you find yourself today. Maybe you are facing a job loss, a broken marriage, a lost dream. I want you to hear me on this….even when it feels like God isn’t there, in the thick with you, He IS. If you are struggling with this truth right now, please let me know so that I can lift you up in prayer.

While I know that things will never be “perfect” in this lifetime….I do know that God has been faithful and will continue to be faithful to those that love Him and are called according to His purpose. Don’t give up friends….don’t give up.

My “Mission Statement”

Posted on by
1

So I shared here a few weeks ago about why I really started this blog in the first place.  The invitation to be a part of something much bigger than me.  It truly is an honor to be among the group of women on the “dream team”….and I have been so blessed by the experience already.

One of the things that I have really felt was “missing” in my life, if you will, was choosing to take the time to sit down and write.  If I am honest with you all, I do have long off dreams of writing and maybe some day publishing something.

And I think it is ok to have big dreams like that….but as we are learning and sharing in our team, I am hearing over and over that we need to start with manageable goals so that we can work towards that ultimate dream. (A little less overwhelming don’t you think?!)

I can’t say I want to be a writer and then I don’t take the time to actually sit down and do it! 🙂  So as a start, Holley helped us look at and discover what our strengths and skills were and then finally who we felt we might be called to serve.

Once we had been through that process we were asked to write a Mission Statement and put words to the starts of hose dreams. As a step of faith, and with a little fear, I am sharing my mission statement here with you!

I believe that God has created me to encourage and support others (especially those that feel hopeless), through writing and sharing my experiences and my journey of faith and God’s redemption in my own broken life.

There is is friends, in bold black letters! 🙂 What I love about this process is that there is no pressure, and the women we are walking along with have offered up so much encouragement and support…..I will say that online friendships can be amazing and a real blessing (when you find the right people)!

It is exciting defining a mission and then praying about how God will help me fulfill it. Hopefully this place, will feel like a safe place for you. A place where you will be encouraged.

I DO NOT have it all together….I am not a biblical scholar and in fact I NEED to spend more time in God’s Word than I’d like to admit. But what I do have are my experiences….good, bad and some downright ugly, that I can share with you here…and hopefully you will see through all of that there is hope.

Tomorrow I am going to share a little story about just one example of God’s redemptive glory in my family. Oh how things change in a years time….I can’t wait to share it with you here.

So thank you so much for coming by tonight….I’d love, love, love to hear your mission statement!! Won’t you share it here with me! 🙂

5 Minute Friday – Opportunity

Posted on by
2

I don’t seem to allow myself the time to blog as much as I would like…but Lisa Jo’s 5 Minute Friday is the perfect way to write a little and get those creative juices flowing!! 🙂  The idea is easy “Set your timer, clear your head, for five minutes of free writing without worrying about getting it right. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.”

This Friday’s word is Opportunity…and Go!

Opportunity should be my “word” for 2013…it is what God has opened my eyes to this past year and I am so excited to see what adventure He will be taking me on.

My husband always says we “get” to do things…we don’t have to. We are provided with so many opportunities every day and we are blessed to be a part of them. But at times life takes its toll on us and we can begin to feel burdened and stressed about all the things we have to do.

But if we can look at everything as an opportunity instead, maybe it would feel less like a weight and more like a blessing.

I have the opportunity to be a mother to 4 amazing kids.

I have the opportunity to work with my husband at his new business and learn new tasks.

I have the opportunity to reach out to others and share the Hope that I have found in God’s love for me.

I have the opportunity to be involved in my community and try to make a difference in this world.

Each day presents a new opportunity…..how we see them, how we respond to them, is our choice.

Today I choose to see each new opportunity as a new blessing. How about you?

stop