Monthly Archives: May 2014

Between the White Lines and Beyond…Trust Without Borders

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Highway

“Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders….” Oceans by Hillsong United

I have a hard time trusting in things that I can’t see.

I was driving home from a trip to my old hometown recently and it was dark. We joke that this particular area of Southwest Minnesota is called the “kill zone” because of the large number of dead deer you will see along the road.

The road was winding. I realized that I could see very clearly between the two white lines that border the 2-lane highway…but beyond that, into the ditch and farther into the empty corn fields next to me, was dark. At times, if there were no other cars around, I could shine my brights and see just a bit more into the ditch. But most of the drive was done not knowing if there were deer out in the shadows.

During drives like this I find myself in constant prayer for protection. I know that there is a good chance that danger is out beyond my sight line. I can see the evidence of it scattered along either side of the highway . I am afraid of the “what-ifs”, the deer unexpectedly coming across the road, the concern that I might hit something. This can make for a long and miserable drive.

I find the same to be true in my faith walk at times.

Comfortable with God in-between the two white lines, I put Him inside of my little box and trust Him in the spaces where I can see clearly and feel I have control.

But in the shadow, in the unknown….that can be harder for me.

What-ifs can weigh heavy and fear can be debilitating.

Fear has dominated many areas of my life – is it a struggle for you as well?

I trust God well when things are calm, when I know what to expect, even in hindsight when I can reflect on His faithfulness.

I struggle most with trust during those times when the future is unknown, when the danger feels real and present. I start to question God’s timing, His provision, even His love for me.

Why is it that this is my natural response? Haven’t I seen the many ways He has been a shelter for me, a refuge in times of a storm?

Then why does my trust only extend to the places that I can see and control?!

I’d love to have you join me over at God-sized Dreams to read the rest of this story!

A Mother’s Day Prayer

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My dear friend Delonna is the new Prayer Team Leader for the God-sized Dreams website and since taking on that role in Houston has come up with some amazing ideas. One of those ideas was to start doing a Podcast series where she can pray over all that visit the site.

I just love her heart, and while she isn’t a mama to a biological child, she is a woman with a mother’s heart. Her love for orphans is amazing and I am just so blessed by her!

She recorded her first podcast so that it would be ready in time for Mother’s Day. So please take a few minutes and be blessed by her words and her prayer and share with a mother in your life!

 

Happy Mother’s Day friends!

Five Minute Friday – Grateful

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Elijah 2

Welcome to Five Minute Friday with Lisa-Jo! The day that writers gather in this online space to write for 5 minutes, no edits, with a single word prompt!

Today’s prompt: GRATEFUL

Oh this little man of mine, how can he be almost 5 already?! On the 18th we will celebrate his birthday, another year, and today I remember the miracle that he really is and I am grateful!

Dominic and I struggled to get pregnant with both Gabriel and Elijah. I was tired of the negative pregnancy tests, tired of the no’s and just wanted something to “fix” what was wrong with me.

We went to see our doctor after over a year of trying and got the same news that we had with Gabriel, for various reasons the likelihood of us getting pregnant on our own was very very small.

There were a couple of things that we thought we would try though and scheduled a “routine” and minor surgery to have some endometriosis removed and to check out the condition of everything inside of me.

It is standard that they run a pregnancy test before the surgery, just to make sure and like every month prior, it was negative. I was holding onto the littlest hope that I had that this procedure might just do the trick.

The surgery went well and I went home to recover. I had the normal after-symptoms from a procedure like that and felt confident that in the next few months we could start trying again…

And then several weeks later I got heartburn.

One thing I have learned about myself is that I don’t ever get heartburn, except when I am pregnant. I was out in Colorado visiting Karlena and we had to stop at a Walgreens to buy some tums…she knew something was up but I was in denial – it was impossible.

But through God all things are possible and boy did He show off with this one! 🙂

I went home and took a pregnancy test and sure enough I saw the 2 pinks lines. I figured I must be like 2 weeks along based on when I had the surgery but I called my doctor and she had me come in for an ultrasound.

When the technician came in she started the scan and then said “Congratulations, here’s your baby and you are 6 1/2 weeks along!” 

I started crying, it didn’t make sense…that would mean that I would have been pregnant during my surgery. It wasn’t possible! I had taken a pregnancy test…they wouldn’t have done the surgery had they known I was pregnant because the likelihood of loosing the egg would have been too great.

But God…oh how grateful I am that He is bigger than any “likelihood” in my life!

The doctor believed that the egg must have implanted on the day of the surgery, my HCG levels would not have started to really increase yet, thus the negative pregnancy test…and somehow even with all they did inside of me, my Elijah hung on and now we celebrate another year with him in our family.

Life is a gift. Being a mother is hard, and my Elijah tests my patience on many days but he is a sweetheart and a gift and I won’t ever stop being grateful for the blessing that he is in our family.

Happy Birthday a few days early my son, I am so grateful for you.

**Disclaimer…this post took me an extra minute or two to finish, but I figured my Elijah was worth breaking the rules for this once** 😉

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How He Loves Us

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Double Rainbow

I woke this morning with this song in my head – “How He Loves”. The chorus repeating over and over…”Oh how He loves us, oh how He loves us, oh how He loves us, oh how He loves.”

I am a hot mess most days.

We all have our stressors don’t we? Parenting that feels like it is going to throw us over the edge,  stress at work, struggles in marriages and friendships. There isn’t a day that goes by that I think that I did things perfectly and for a Type A perfectionist like myself, this can be a tough pill to swallow!

I want to be an on fire woman for God. I want to raise my children without any serious issues that cause them to need therapy later in life. I want to offer unconditional love towards my husband.

But most days I am short-tempered, irritated with the littlest things, discontent and jealous of those that seem to have it easier than me.

Nice huh?!

But in comes grace. A gift I thank God for daily. A gift freely given to me, something that I don’t always comprehend, but something that is a balm to my weary and broken soul.

God never expected that we would get it right, that is exactly the reason He sent His Son for us.

Yesterday I participated in a fast. The last 6 hours or so were the worst. At this point I was “fruited” out and I would have given just about anything for a dry cracker. I craved grains, it was weird! 🙂  And then there was that time that my oldest son taunted me by eating a caramel filled cookie right in front of me with about 3 hours to go. Ahh yes the love…

I discovered in a real way how much I want what I want, when I want it.

Patience and surrender are apparently not virtues of mine.  But in the end I made it. I went a full 24 hours and didn’t cheat…only by God’s grace really because I wanted to and even thought at one point, who would even know really?!

But you know what I DO know? Even if I had “cheated” or been unable to finish the fast, God loves me anyways. It isn’t about me at all really. I don’t have to do anything to earn God’s favor. He loves me, in spite of me. THAT is the takeaway reminder for me again.

I am going to mess up, I am going to be short tempered and insensitive. I will let my husband, my friends down…it is inevitable. I am not perfect – but God doesn’t need me to be. (<====Click to Tweet)

But God with His unconditional love, reminds me every day that He loves us, oh how He loves us. Thank you God for loving me.

I am joining the amazing Holley Gerth in her #2014EncouragementChallenge. Where writers come together each Wednesday to offer hope and encouragement to one another. We would love to have you come and join in!

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Photo Credit: LifeHouseDesign

A Call to Fast

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Fruits of the Spirit 1

On Sunday our pastor preached about “Knowing our Enemy”. Whether we like to admit it or not, the reality of this world is that we live in constant attack of the enemy. He seeks to rob us of joy, to ruin our marriages and friendships…to steal all of the blessings that God has given us.

Friends THIS is a battle.

Ephesians 6:12:  For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.

Our pastor told us that Lucifer’s name means light. He was originally described as the most beautiful angel and was created by God to bring light into the world. But he got selfish and prideful. He wanted to live independent of God not dependent on God.

Thus the fall. Lucifer and other angels that followed him were cast down to earth to rein here. Satan is our adversary,  opponent. He is powerful and wise, crafty and cunning.

He masquerades as the truth with just enough falsehood to get us to doubt. When I heard my pastor say that on Sunday it just hit home.

That is exactly what I have experienced and what I have seen my dearest friends experience recently.

10 of us came home from Houston and one by one have been under attack. There was some pretty powerful work for the Kingdom being done in Houston, so it shouldn’t surprise us that the attacks came.

But they did, and for many of us, they caught us off guard.

What I love more than anything about our website team is that while it may be easier to cave in and walk away defeated, we are standing with Christ, arming ourselves with Him, for battle.

Delonna posted this morning that she felt called to a fast. She invited us to all participate, to encourage one another, and to use this time to pray over one another.

I will be honest, I haven’t ever done a fast. I really like food, and chocolate, and snacking…all things that don’t really fit with a fast.

But I believe that when people of God unite for His glory, in His name, in His power and authority…well Satan better just run and hide. ahem and Amen!

Some of us will be starting at sundown tonight and others tomorrow morning….but we will be fasting and praying together. And let me clarify…we are doing the Daniel Fast so we can have fruits and vegetables but no meats, dairy, processed foods or chocolate. 🙂

Delonna sent us a copy of the printable above to have and reference during this time. Our prayer for one another will be to ask God to break any strongholds we have, prayers for protection over our families, our children and our marriages.

Through the power of prayer and this fast we have hope for the mighty things that God will accomplish through us.

1 John 4:4 Little children, you are from God and have overcome them, for he who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.

It isn’t about us and what we can do.

As my pastor said “The only way I stand is when I stand IN Him.”

So we stand, confident in the Christ that is in us, the One who gives us strength. The One who can break any stronghold. God will be fighting for us in the next 24 hours, we are standing willing and ready, armored in His Truth.

If anyone would like to join us over the next 24 hours, we would love to pray with you as well. And I’d love to hear if you have ever done a fast…what did God teach you through it all?!